Ramblings by Carolyn

Lately, my mind has been shuttling back and forth between retirement, commitment, and recreation.

After 44 years of marriage to a man who has gone off to work every weekday, what's coming when he doesn't? Oh, there were years when we both worked, years when we didn't, but there have never been years when we were home together each day. We love each other, but we have lives of our own too. Our weekends have always been very special because they are weekends. What happens when each day is a weekend? What does he want? What do I want? Do we want the same things? We talk about it, but come to no conclusions. We will be re"creating" our lives and our life together. We are very grateful and blessed to have this opportunity, but honestly, it's a tad unnerving!

We know what we don't want. We don't want to waste our retirement years not moving about because it is too hot. We don't want to be indolent. We don't want nothing to do. (Double negative, but meaningful) Neither plays golf or harbors any great plans to see the world. He is not taking an early retirement, but we still have plenty of energy, are healthy and reseasonably alert. One thing we do know is every couple is different and must settle this for themselves.

What's left? Commitment. Certainly, we are committed to each other. We want the best for one another as long as we have each other. We are committed to something outside ourselves. He worked all those years not only for his own sake, but for our family's sake and for his company's sake too. His desire to do something for someone else won't change.

As a Christian, my purpose falls under the Great Commission of Mark 16:15, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." I quickly add with words or without!

That's not a bad way to conclude this blog. Though we may not know what form our retirement will take, we do know we have a purpose not only enjoy our chidren and grandchildren and what's left of life, but to be of some benefit to others, to give back. Now, that makes sense!

Moody Women (by Judy)

Did I get your attention with that title? However, no reflections on menopause. This week I went on a pilgrimage – one I take every year to the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. This venerable institution sits on a pricey piece of real estate on LaSalle in Chicago – the heart of the Gold Coast. However, it predates those wealthy landowners hoping for a glimpse of Lake Michigan who purchase surrounding properties. It was established by portly and passionate evangelist Dwight Moody in the 1880s. His heart for the city and the world established a presence which has sent waves of young people, generations of missionaries, pastors, preachers, teachers, musicians, authors, broadcasters and even pilots into the world, offering hope for revival in the name of Christ.

I never stop feeling a sense of reverence as I first step foot on the campus – the feeling that I am on holy ground. The students look like those on any campus in the United States, though perhaps a bit more clean-cut, and clear-eyed. However, they have chosen a unique educational focus, for ministry intent of some kind is a prerequisite of admission. For five days every February they welcome visitors – pilgrims – from around the world to join them as we sit together under the best Christian teaching available and worship together, singing a blend of the old music of the faith, and the latest in melodic biblical hymnody.

Every message – two in the morning and two in the afternoon on the Moody campus, and a rousing evening revival at the Moody Church – is delivered with clarity, to instruct and inspire. This year, among many lessons, I learned from Ravi Zacharias that surprisingly, Truth is not enough. There is a second need if we are to have impact – relevance. From Eric Moore, I was reminded that we focus so much on a busy life that we forget simply to be. He said we become human “doings,” instead of human beings. From David Papillion, a current student and powerful evangelist of the future, I learned about Jephthah in the Old Testament, who was confident in his own abilities to the point that he didn’t trust his faithful God, and in the end, suffered the terrible personal loss of his beloved daughter.

There were other wonderful moments, too many to tell – as well as the brief foreknowledge of what heaven is like in the singing together with other pilgrims and students, this year from the vantage point of the front row of the balcony. But I would be remiss if I didn’t also share the delightful human joys of sharing the trip with Carolyn, my boon companion, as we delighted in the comfort of the Hotel Indigo, which offers their rooms to Moody pilgrims for a paltry $89, when they generally run $250 and up; the special 3rd Coast, three buildings away, which is part diner, part neighborhood bar, and all welcoming, nurturing and delicious, whether breakfast, lunch, dinner or a bedtime cab after a shivery, snowy walk back from the Church along Chicago streets.

The blessing of attending Founder’s Week at the Moody Bible Institute never grows old – and neither does the challenge to take such a time into the year, not simply being fed, but feeding others – offering God’s love as students have been doing for generations on the Chicago streets and in far-flung corners of the world. What a privilege, what a call.

Fresh Grace by Carolyn

Tiptoeing into the dark room, I thought Helen would be asleep. To my surprise, when I reached her bedside she was staring at the wall. When I called her name quietly, she turned and looked at me. "Hi, Helen. How nice to see you again. Since you are awake, I'd like to visit for awhile." Helen has end stage Alzheimer's. I began singing in my softest voice, "Abide With Me."

Dorothy was awake in her wheel chair in the t.v. room. But her head was down as if she were staring at the floor. She wasn't alone. There were many others either asleep, or looking distantly around them. Some were watching t.v. The aid told me that I could take Dorothy to her room. I did. Speaking ever so softly to the top of her head, I said, "Hi, Dorothy. I've come to sing some of your favorite hymns. Perhaps you'd like to sing with me." Dorothy also has end stage Alzheimer's.

These dear, precious women appear to be trapped inside their bodies and perhaps they are, but maybe not. I don't know how Jesus reaches in and grabs their hearts, minds, and souls, but I must do what I can to encourage and comfort them. Singing to them comforts them like singing a lullaby to a baby comforts it. They listen. When the singing stops they grow fitful and restless until it starts again, or they fall asleep.

There are stories in the Bible about those who were trapped. One is the story of the Healing of the Boy With the Evil Spirit. Though the disciples tried they could not drive out the the spirit. This boy could not hear words of comfort when possessed. He could not express himself. Frustrated with His disciples, Jesus rebukes them and then turns to the boy's father. The Father is unsure Jesus can help. Jesus tells him everything is possible for him who believes. And then the famous outcry, "I do believe. I do believe. Help me with my unbelief!" Immediately, Jesus heals the boy. What happened? Faith happened. And Jesus said, "This kind come out only by prayer." The disciples did not understand. The evil spirit understood and left the boy.

The other is Acts 19:13-16 when some went around driving out evil spirits invoking the name of Jesus when they were actually pretenders who knew nothing about Jesus at all. The evil spirits did. One even said so. When called to come out by these counterfeiters the spirit said, "Jesus I know, and I know about Paul, but who are you?"

While personal to me in my situation this may be applicable to those of you who face similar situations. Disease is evil. But all evil is under God's control and can be used for His good purposes. I may presume on God's grace, or doubt His power, but fresh grace and power are just a prayer away. I do not have the power to comfort these women. All I can do is pray that Jesus will give me what we need each time I am with them. I never, ever have God's power in my control. I need Him anew every day. I must never, ever forget to pray before I try to help.

Finishing Well (by Judy)

Today I met with the head of the school where I have worked for 31 years, and we agreed that he would announce my retirement at a meeting in a few days. Gulp! This moment which I have anticipated for years is almost here. The fact that the announcement is entirely at my initiative does nothing to take away the wobblies – nor does the statement from almost everyone I know that I will love retirement and never look back. Though he did hold out the possibility of my working on the farm during the growing season, the fact is, my life is going to dramatically change – and I want to consider the implications in Christian terms.

The Bible is filled with people who went through transitions, often having to do with growing older and failing to end well. Many of them had years of faithful service, but as they grew older they gradually derailed spiritually, or had one major breakdown which destroyed all their years of effort. We see the same pattern today – politicians, movie stars, sports heroes like Joe Paterno who died yesterday. Decades of accolades washed away in the final moments of life. Shakespeare got it right - "The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones.” And he even titled a play, “All’s Well that Ends Well.”

Last summer I visited my daughter in New York City, and as we wandered the Greenwich Village streets, we came upon a small store selling one unique product – salt. Their shelves were filled with salts of all colors, and flavors, mined or filtered from mountains and oceans around the world. But they had one unifying quality – they were “finishing salts” – not something to be added, blended and diluted during the cooking process, but a wonderful seasoning to be added at the end – bringing out the best in the dish being prepared, and adding a unique richness. The dish would be diminished without the finishing salt’s transformative presence.

That’s what I want to be – a finishing salt! I know that to accomplish such a final purpose, I must start and end with God. I know that His strength is made perfect in my weakness, and I am promised that I can do all things in Him who strengthens me. What an encouragement to the faithful as we grow older. I was talking about this with my Bible study leader last week, and she said it is important in retirement to “be” – to allow oneself time to meditate, to dwell in the holy place – and not to feel a compulsion to remain busy and constantly outwardly fruitful. Wise words. I am sure I will hear many more. As always, the Bible says it best: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.”

God's Work in Progess by Carolyn

Shocking! I am humbled by the power of God to make old things new; to refresh and renew what was stale and old and ready for the trash. Today is a day for praise and thanksgiving and I am so motivated to share my joy. And yet, I wait in awesome wonder anticpating what God will do.

I have a sister-in-law who had given up. She didn't care whether she lived or died. She was bitter, hurt, despondent and unable to function. Her dear, precious, son due to circumstances beyond his control, drank himself to death at age 34. One night, after months of drinking herself into sleepy numbness, she awakened and could not move her legs. My brother called the ambulance and they admitted her to the psychiatric unit at the local hospital where she stayed for 10 days.

God's angels in the form of a husband who loved her, counselors, AA, social workers, nurses, doctors and a team of people, family and friends who cared for her, brought her back from the abyss. All those angels and God Himself turned her around and pointed her in the RIGHT direction. She now has a will to live that is nothing short of miraculous.

My daughter-in-law had a lost childhood. It couldn't be found. For years she knew something was missing, but she didn't know what. She had been robbed of her sense of worth and well being. But nothing is impossible with God. Though she doesn't know it was God Himself who found the pieces for her and gave them to her, she will one day. I have no doubt.

Two women who have been transformed by the power of God. Two women who once were lost but by God's grace are being found! One day they will know and acknowledge their Savior. One day not only will their eyes be opened to their new lives, but to the One and ONLY God who can renew life and bring people back from the dead. They will discover they have been born again. I know it. One day, they will know it too. In the meantime, how I praise my Lord and Savior for His love and compassion on my family!

Where Do We Go From Here?

January 1, 2012.

"Ring the bell
It's a glorious sound
People gather round
And start to cheer
And the cheer starts to swell.
If you like taking a bow,
Then you've got to know how
To ring the bell."

Written by Jimmy Van Huesan and Johnny Burke

At my age, I wasn't awake to ring-a-ding-ding at midnight last night. I was awake at 5 a.m. this morning to see a news report of millions of people in Times Square ringing bells, hootin' and hollerin', cheering, waving, kissing and watching the ball drop. 'What a party!' I thought. Wow.

From the air, high above Times Square, they looked like one giant person moving in unison, like the waves you see at football games. They were definitely one in spirit. Would you like to be in Times Square at midnight on New Year's Eve like so many people do? How did you celebrate New Year's Eve 2012?

We were very blessed to be with my coffeepotgospel, bosom buddy, Judy and her husband. They have had a New Year's Eve party every year since 1973 only missing twice. For the last two years, at popular request, they've held their party from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. so we could all go home and sleep! There were old friends gathered there, new friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and folks I had never met. Throughout the evening there must have been about 50 people coming and going. We gathered around the buffet table filling our plates with the bounty provided. We massed in the kitchen all talking at once. Some chose to sit in the living room talking quietly with one another. I thought to myself, 'What a party!' Wow.

From the ground, in Judy's living room, family room and kitchen, faces shimmered with light; faces of love and good will, some faces now lined with the wisdom, individuals whose lives might vary enormously from my own, but people reaching out, reminiscing, laughing, and occasionally, thoughtfully wondering what 2012 will bring.

Sharply at 9, a dear friend began clanging on a glass, calling everyone to attention to announce there would be an "after party" party in the garage! Jack and Judy were stunned! Some of us were stunned too. How would we stay awake? We were told there would be plenty of pebbles to throw at Judy and Jack's bedroom windows to keep them up. But who would throw them if we were all asleep on the garage floor snuggled under our tablecoth blankies? There was a collective sigh of relief as we figured out this was good humored teasing that we aren't getting any younger! We were all one in spirit as we thanked our hosts for another happy, successful New Year's Eve, for their kindness, generosity and love.

Where do we go from here? Some went to their own after parties. Some went to bed. What about 2012? I don't know about everyone else, but I will find my way in faith in God. I know that He has plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. And you know what? He has the very same plans for YOU! Happy New Year Everyone! May 2012 be filled with every good thing!

"Who knows where the time goes?" (by Judy)

Oh my goodness – where has the time gone? Isn’t that a constant refrain, especially as we grow older - though Judy Collins asked the question in the title in the 1970s. I say this first because it has been 1 month since Carolyn posted her last blog, and our agreement is that we will rotate responsibility, trying to post once a week. Sigh. No excuses worth typing. But such a disgraceful lag on my part has given me the subject – how we spend our time.

I am part of a prayer group, and once a week we gather to honor our Lord with words of adoration. We also confess those sins we are able to speak out loud. We thank God for His bountiful blessings, which is always the easiest part of this time together. And finally we offer prayers of supplication for individuals, groups, our nation and the world. Though there are many common themes, one of the most consistent, I type with chagrin, is confession that we do not give God our first fruits. We fit Him in during chaotic days and nights where with exhaustion we fall into a deep sleep. He is not our All in All, but too often our Sometimes, When Convenient.

This disgraceful inattention to the most important matter in my life was brought home as I walked home from grocery shopping one day recently. I passed the beautiful church across the street, and saw a placard advertising a new service on Sundays. The words shocked me, and caused me to lament anew our worldly priorities. Honoring God once a week, setting aside a day of Sabbath rest, is not only a commandment, but a timetable that God modeled for us in the Book of Genesis. The first bullet point, best marketing position, says it all: the promise of a half hour service. In and out, on your way. I love you, Lord. Now time to play.

The familiar hymn “Crown Him with Many Crowns” sings, “Crown him the Lord of Years, the Potentate of Time….” Psalm 31 says, “My times are in your hands.” A concordance provides many other references to God’s time. This blog entry is more a rueful meditation on how I spend my time, and what my priorities are. There is one thing I know – every time I sit down, set aside the world and listen to God, I am blessed beyond words. My thanksgiving is that I still have Today!